Hey everyone!

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, and I’ve got a lot to share. Depending on when you’re reading this, this post and the one right before it were worked on together. While this post is scheduled for September 2nd, the other one should already be up as of August 31st.

Now, before you think I’m about to launch into a bunch of excuses for why I’ve been MIA (trust me, I’m not), let me get real with you. I just wrapped up the first week of my final year at university, and wow, did I realize a lot—a lot—about the hypothetical rat race and some other life stuff that I think you’ll find useful.

This post is going to be a bit different from my usual deep dives into science and facts or lists of things to add to your workout or academic regimes. Nope, today we’re going raw: raw content, raw thoughts, and some good old-fashioned life lessons. And before I dive in, just a heads up: this will be my last post until December, so I want to thank you all for your support up until now.

Alright, let’s get into it. I don’t usually go into my personal day-to-day details in these blogs, but trust me, some context is needed for all of this to make sense. So, here we go.

I kicked off my first week of senior year with high hopes, fully expecting to stick to my well-thought-out schedule: diet, workout, academics, the whole shebang. But, as it happens, senior year is no walk in the park, and oh boy, has this week been a rollercoaster of emotions and events.

First off, there were a bunch of complications with course registration that threw me for a loop. I found myself running back and forth from the registration office in between classes like I was competing in some kind of academic marathon. Once I finally got that sorted out, one of my professors (who I’ll be doing research with this year) decided to expand the project plan to include a few new methods (aka more work). This, of course, came with a hefty stack of dense literature that’s going to consume hours of the time I don’t have.

With all that going on, I found myself falling behind in class because my brain was so preoccupied with everything else. I ended up using the time meant for uploading these weekly blogs to catch up on lectures, which threw my schedule even more out of whack (as some of you might have noticed). The stress got to me, and I have started sleeping less and less. My workouts haven’t been hitting the same because my body is so drained from everything else. And don’t even get me started on grad school applications—let’s just say they haven’t seen much progress either.

So yeah, it’s been a chaotic few days, to say the least. But in the middle of all this craziness, within the first 96 hours of stepping foot back on campus, I had a few revelations, some lightbulb moments, that I thought might be helpful to share with you all.

Chapter 1 – Building a Rat Race

The first thing I realized is that I’m stuck in a rat race of my own making. I started enjoying work as a way to escape the various problems that plague us all: daily failures, fleeting relationships, and that ever-increasing self-doubt and uncertainty that seem to follow us around. Work became my solace. It helped solve some problems directly and distracted me from others. But I’ve been using work as a crutch to the point where I’m way in over my head.

There are only 24 hours in a day, and there’s only so much you can do. With everyone wanting their fair share of work done within a set time limit, and many of those time limits overlapping, I found myself being pulled apart like stewed meat.

One thing I let slide over the past week was a bunch of promises I made to myself, like going to bed on time, waking up on time, and avoiding a few vices I’d sworn off. That really hurt me because I was doing so well over the past three months, and it just took a couple of days to undo a lot of that progress. But as they say, it’s never too late, so I’m going to start fresh this upcoming week and get back on track.

But anyway, I digress. Back to the rat race. I realized that people who were laid back and taking life a bit too easy were actually a lot happier. There’s no doubt about it. My current situation is of my own making; I could have easily avoided a bunch of work and made life a bit easier for myself. But here, my dear reader, lies a major flaw. No one has become successful, world-renowned, or an expert in their field without putting in countless hours honing their skills and grasping at every hypothetical straw that exists.

So, in the simplest sense, I really want to trust the process and see how well things turn out in my favor. It’s not like I haven’t experienced this kind of situation before; it’s just that this time, there’s a lot more at stake, and I simply can’t slack off.

So, what’s the takeaway here? You’ve got to stick to your goals and aspirations through thick and thin. Sure, there may be days when you want to give up everything. Sure, there may be days when you slack off. But what’s most important is that you don’t use those moments to make excuses like “there’s no point in trying” or “I should probably give up while I’m ahead.” It takes every ounce of strength to fall down and get back up, but as long as you keep getting back up, you’ll be surprised at how much you’re capable of.

Chapter 2 – Background Silence

Another thing that’s been bothering me is my company—or rather, the lack of it—in this stage of life that I call "background silence." A bunch of my close friends, who were a year ahead of me, graduated last semester. Returning to campus without those familiar faces has made life this past week feel very monotonous. Furthermore, due to my tight work schedule, I haven’t had the time to catch up with a lot of old friends either.

What I’m getting at is that it’s not just the pressure from all the tasks you need to do, but also the ever-gripping emptiness that comes from a lack of company. It just adds salt to the wound. But a piece of advice I found online taught me that the road to success is often a lonely path—a patch of dead grass amidst a green forest. There are going to be many times in your life when you break down, and there simply won’t be anyone to pick you back up—not because no one cares, but simply because no one knows.

And honestly, as strange as it sounds, that may not always be the worst thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love my group, but you have to realize that to get ahead of the curve, you might need to go incognito at times. At other times, you might just be lonely out of circumstance (I’m currently experiencing both, as you can see). So, you just have to accept this simple fact and keep pressing forward.

Chapter 3 – Memento Mori

Remember, you must die.

I’m not trying to be grim or threatening here. This is an old Latin phrase that literally translates to “Remember, you must die.” Think about it this way: the vast majority of us are stuck in a place where we don’t want to try something out of fear of looking foolish or being made fun of. Memento mori. Every night, you go to sleep with the off chance that you won’t wake up the next morning. And you, my dear reader, are lucky to be here today.

So, what’s stopping you from going to that next level? Whatever it is, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? Every single one of us is going to die one day, so would you rather spend this limited time trying to appease people, or do you want to focus on yourself and keep moving forward?

I’ve realized that every time I’m about to step out of my comfort zone, I ask myself, “Is it really worth it?” Well, it may or may not be, but damn me if I give up without giving it a fair shot.

Chapter 4 – Transient Storms

You’d be shocked to know how many of the people close to you are going through a rough patch. So don’t think you’re the only one or that the universe is singling you out. These transient storms aren’t here to stay; with time, they will pass—only to make way for new ones in the near future.

I’m taking a film course this semester, and during my lecture this past Tuesday, the professor explained that no movie you’d enjoy watching clings to just one emotion. Everything is a collection of emotions. There’s a constant cycle of happy and sad throughout a film, and that’s what makes it interesting. If the entire film were just happy from start to finish, or just sad from start to finish, you’d most likely get bored and move on.

So, think about it this way: these transient storms bring with them a chance to test ourselves, learn lessons, and break the monotony. Don’t think of them as something bad, because without them, we wouldn’t have the drive to improve. If you’re thinking of letting go, hold on a little while longer, because with time, this storm too shall pass.

Anyway, guys, I know this is a very random post. It’s not something I usually do, nor is it something I thought I’d be doing when I first started this website. But some days, it’s best to show that life isn’t all peachy. Despite my past challenges and this constant journey of self-improvement, I too falter from time to time. But at the end of the day, that’s what humans do. The only thing that keeps me going is how I get back up. Some might call me stubborn, but I call it persistence.

As the Stoics say, you can’t control your circumstances, but you can control your emotions and, most importantly, your actions.

I’m going to miss making posts, and it’s quite sad that I won’t be coming back here for a few months. But I think it’s for the best since it gives me some extra time to work and get a bunch of things back in order. I promise you, I’ll be back before you know it, with more of these raw thought pieces and plenty of my usual content on mental health, academics, and physical well-being.

In the meantime, just keep going, keep believing in your dream, and keep leveling up. See you guys damn soon.

P.S. The photos in this blog post are from my personal photography collection, a hobby I picked up during the pandemic. All these photos are my original work. If you'd like to use them, just shoot me an email, and we can definitely work something out.